I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize