and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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