Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
