ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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