so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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