The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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