Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
