we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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