You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The air was thick with penises
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize