you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
