Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
