Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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