is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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