Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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