yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have tasted many bathrooms
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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