If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
