dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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