ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
