I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
