There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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