Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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