Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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