you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
