whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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