I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
