Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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