it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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