I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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