yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
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Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life