His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..