So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...