your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was