happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.