He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.