There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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