She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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