Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
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My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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