So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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