he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
