just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
