two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
