I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
