so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
