White coat. Heels.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We left the knife in your bed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
