so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
