As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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