Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
