Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize