Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
