I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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