If i come over, it means nothing
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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