You can't motorboat a personality
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
