I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
