Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
