I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
