How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
