yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
