Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
