come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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