for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
even my farts smell like vagina
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize