i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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