I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
