The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
