Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
