I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
