am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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