i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
