He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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