I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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