she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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